Dating has always been an adventure. But there’s one step we often underestimate: self-reflection. We’re not telling you to head off on a three-week phoneless yoga retreat. Just take a moment to think about what you’re actually looking for—from yourself and from others. Jumping onto a dating app without knowing what you want often leads to a frustrating experience. You hesitate between profiles. You don't even know what to write in your own bio.

Today, we’re helping you kickstart that reflection with three simple questions. Once you find your answer to each of them, your experience will become much smoother. And who knows? Those Crushes might just show up faster than expected.

A little disclaimer: You need to find your own answer to each question. But there’s no right or wrong answer. There’s only yours.

How am I feeling?

It might sound basic, but it’s the ultimate starting point. How can you meet someone if you aren't feeling good within yourself? You can always try, of course. But it’s a bit like going to a job interview in the middle of a burnout. You aren't really showing who you are—or the best version of yourself. Before you start meeting people, take the time to see where you’re at. Do you feel good in your life right now? Are you ready to share your energy with someone else? Before expecting anything from another person, make sure you're at peace with yourself. Being single or in a relationship should never define your happiness.

What kind of relationship do I want?

On happn, you can find all kinds of relationships. A friendship. A one-night stand. A serious relationship. Or something in between. All these options exist, and all of them are valid. You can choose several. You can also not be entirely sure. But taking a moment to think about what you truly want allows you to be more honest with yourself and others. Nothing is more frustrating than moving forward when you aren't on the same wavelength. And good news: the days of feeling ashamed to say what you're looking for are over. Today, the main expectation is simply to be clear and honest. It’s the best way to attract people who want the same thing as you.

Am I looking in the right place?

A Crush can start with a simple spark. A photo, a smile, a vibe. But today, a profile can tell a much bigger story. On happn, profiles allow you to go beyond appearances. You can discover someone's musical tastes, their habits, their favorite shows, or their most memorable trips—even the neighborhoods they love to hang out in. All these details are there to help you imagine a real connection. Of course, you can also let yourself be surprised by someone who isn't "your type." But taking the time to look at these little clues can sometimes lead to truly unexpected encounters.

In short, you’re free to look for whoever and whatever you want. But often, the starting point isn't the other person. It’s you. And we promise you one thing: this effort is rarely wasted.

One last piece of advice before you jump in: don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Dating is, above all, a human experience. We all have our flaws, our awkward moments, and our surprises. Relationships aren't checklists to be ticked off. They are sometimes imperfect, often funny, and, most importantly, meant to be lived.

So, why not by you?